Mr Ant and Mr Wasp prove to be a bleedin' nuisance when dining alfresco.

A real Italian pizza this. Made in Italy by an Italian with a piece of garlic up his bottom and a sheepish grin on his face.

An elderly poached egg turns away in disgust as Mr Sausage tries to insert himself into Mrs Bacon's cavity. 2wo leery halves of the same tomato are keenly watching however in this ribald pornographic Saturday morning breakfast.

When I was young and had no sense
I bought a flute for eighteen pence.

I love the sea
I love the navy,
I love my biscuits
Dipped in gravy.

Poppy Poopah
Popped into the poop
For a peck of pepper.

Spicy nachos made without nacho but nearly out of date Worcestershire sauce crisps. Interesting.

The other picture is of some kind of burger accompanied by some chips of massive proportions. In fact one of them is so big that it is close to being a roasty.

Mr Mike of Edge fame sits at the bar of the Mighty Argyll one Wednesday afternoon. He is pointing at his pint of lager to indicate that this is an unusual drink for him. He usually drinks Congo Coke.

On this china discoid we find a quantity of baked beans encroaching on both black pudding and a slice of Polish fried bread.

To the north-west a twisted strip of grilled Danish bacon can be seen mounted on a plain omelette.

It was canny.