An independent, free thinking curry containing chicken, green beans, black-eyed beans (from Venus), onion and lentils lie next to Fluffy Rice, the whore of the Silent Rectangle in the Span of Kadraz.

2wo sardines lay exhausted on a piece of toast after a long hard lovemaking session. They first met in a tin and were already oiled up.

A swirl of Irish bacon takes up position on a prison white plate with a slice of pudding black, a negg and a portion of lightly boiled cabbage.

Charlie Drake cuddles up to Bubble 'n' Squeak and Spinach. Mean Mr Mustard watches over them waiting to rim the edge of the plate.

Sardines covered with melted cheese wait to be eaten by a grateful mouth that is more used to beer and wine.

2wo lamb and mint sausages play fast and loose with fried spuds, fried egg (hen), toast and a couple of lead tomatoes.

It was cut up with the aid of a knife and fork and crammed into my filthy mouth.