This huge plate curried favour with my stomach one evening. It was assembled with chicken leg, butter beans, carrot, onion and lentils.

These kippers were boiled in the bag as instructed on the packet and dished up with some boiled spuds and some rocket. All was consumed within minutes do to pressing hunger.

A Welsh rabbit has been pulverized and spread on toasted bread with black pepper and Worcester sauce. It was pleasant enough but not as pleasant as the chilled rose wine that went with it.

This is an "I've been in the pub all day and I'm so hungry I'll eat anything" omelette. It was made from 2wo eggs, fried bread, a slice of bacon and, incredibly, a wedge of stilton. To it was later added some baby spinach leaves to make it "healthy."

This plate has been seduced by a swelter of steamed curly kale which is said to be a very good source of iron. Next to it a portion of pig's liver loiters along with the sage and onion stuffing that surrounds it. It was lovely beyond all imagination and I commend it to the house.

Ah har!!!! This is a spinach sandwich enhanced with English mustard. It was very popular with Barbary corsairs during the 16th century.

This baby seal has been beaten to death, peppered, roasted at 180 degs C for 40 Earth minutes and served up with a mixed salad.

A slightly over cooked cheese and fried bread omelette is helping some salad leaves with their enquiries. Its particulars have been taken down and it can now apply for lucuzade.