This colourful repast consists of fried lamb's liver, Irish back bacon and onion on a bed of lightly steamed savoy cabbage. A crushed clove of garlic was bunged in to make it all lovely and everything.

A hearty bowl of Glasgow caviar (mince 'n' tatties) will shortly be escorted into my cakehole with the assistance of a couple of slices of rustic wholemeal bread.

This pre-pub English breakfast includes an Old English pork sausage (thick) from Mr Muff the butcher. It was so tasty that my taste buds became discombobulated.

This is 180 degrees of bacon and leek quiche (flan) buffering an assortment of salad. Salads are easy. They're rocket science.

Duck breasty at 3hree o'clock being attacked by a formation of salad tomatoes and a hard core of green stuff. No hiding place.

A fried egg on toast, grilled beercan and a grilled tomato with melted cheese on it await transportation to the very pit of my being.

3hree dead fishes await consumption next to some chopped up bits and pieces of salad. In the background can be seen a rather tall bottle of some kind of balsamic bollocks to be used as a dressing.

Mmmmmmm.................

This a nice bowl of Olive's. Not too sure what they are but they're Olive's.