And? Guess what? It decided it just wanted to lose weight!

How are we supposed to get into this kind of Tardis?

That bloomin' Tardis tried to get in touch with its feminine side today. That Paladin drive has a lot to answer for!

That's all I can say! Except for all the other things I can say.

This pub is so big I once got lost on the way back from the toilet and ended up an alternative universe where everyone was naturally drunk and went to the pub to sober up.

It's called the Railway even though it's a pub.

The one called Martin relaxes in his blue top. The one called Wezzy sports a bow-tie and is therefore not to be trusted. That's the problem with alcohol, it gets in your mouth.

A game of chess broke out just before the Sunday roast last Sunday. The whites just kicked off! Luckily it wasn't too violent.

This is one of the bars on the Royal Yacht Britannia. In it the Queen and her mum might have got stonking pissed when away from the public eye.

A right Royal knees-up!

A carrot transporter docks at Mostonia.

The mighty Argyll and Sutherland Highlander stands alone in the ocean of Eastham. Though it's on the far side of the world this pub is our home. This pub is England.

This hotel is in Ambleside. Ambleside is in the Lake District. The Lake District is in England. That's all you need to know.

A bit of toast nudges an integrated spinach omelette 1ne morning in the first decade of the 20enty 1irst centuary in England.

The Frog is a pub on the outskirts of Chester. It's close to the Republic of Mostonia which is a semi-autonomous self governing province of Cheshire.

A can of Foster's lager on thirst quenching duties in a summery garden in Meols.

A Californian Soweto briefcase rests stoutly on the garden table with 2wo glasses and 3hree pots. A well balanced picture, don't you think?