This shape-shifting reptile from the planet Zobe sits on a train heading for Birkenhead. How many Christmas's will he ruin before happy hour is passed?

A little old lady wanted an audience with the Pope the other day so after showing the Doctor her pass and making sure it was not before 0930, he dropped her off in St Peter's square.

This is where all the lovely nosebag is created. In Kipper's Cafe (pronounced to rhyme with "safe"). It does very well and has been awarded several Mitchelin Tyres.