Not a Soweto briefcase, more a Soweto pencil-case. Looks very well next to the fresh orange juice in the door of the fridge.

Mr. Mike of the Black Stuff ate this in the Twirl of Hay. Chips, peas and poked eggs with what could be ham.

This is the remnants of an Argyll breakfast. It was chomped by a young man one Saturday afternoon while Liverpool beat Wigan 3-2.

The sliced spuds were sent to Coventry with some curry powder for lazing around in the fridge all night when they should have been talking to the little man behind the radiator. The sliced tomatoes were placed on the plate with wet hands and the chicken was made to go on the plate. Branston tagged along.

There was a choice but now it's gone.

A lovely pan of stew bubbles convincingly away atop the hob. It contains onion, carrot, parsnip, lentils and neckend of lamb

A meal from the past. 3hree well cooked porkers sit astride a huge splodge of mashed sweet potatoes to which have been added some diced spring onions.

This is what's left of a rainbow trout, boiled spuds and spinach after approximately 2wo minutes of chomping.

This was a cheese omelette with some bacon. I was wearing trousers while I ate it.