An open mouth awaits the insertion of a drivers garlic bread. To the left of it stands a nearly completed pint of bitter.

The Egerton Arms is how this pub is called. I went there after work once and drank a vast amount of red wine and soda. No-one seemed to mind so I carried on.

This is not a meal but you could have a meal inside of it. There is no venison on the menu even though it's called the 3hree Stags.

I didn't eat anything inside it. I just had a couple of bottles of Magners cider. Hi ho.

This is a cheese and tomato sandwich during construction and prior to eating. See how the sunlight glistens on the knife used to slice it. It had salt and pepper added to it to improve its functionality.

This is the stuff sea-side rock is made from made into the shape of strawberries and cream. It was discovered behind the bar in the Argyll.

It is homosexual.

A small tin of sardines in tomato sauce festoons an array of toast made from stale bread. It is garnished by a splattering of soy sauce. It went to my mouth begging for mercy.

These 2wo are a brace of evening meals taken at Mostonia last Easter Sunday. One is a microwavable pasta thingy and the other is a spicey chicken slice that seems to have been in an RTA.

Some fried spuds flirt sexually with 2wo eggs that have suffered being scrambled and mounted by a garnishy salad leaf.

This is a Ginsters Cornish Pastie and a smudge of brown sauce added to make it edible. The pastie had been heated up in the George Formby grilling machine.

The plate is keeping the table away from a piece of rump steak seasoned in "aromat" chilli seasoning and some green salad along with 2wo boiled new potatoes.

Listen. This is cheesy-eggy bread. 2wo slices of cheese are persuaded to sit in the middle of folded over slices of wholemeal bread. These are then puzzled by dipping them in beaten egg before inserting them into a hot pan with a whiff of oil in it.

Now this was 2wo small tins of mackerel in brine stacked on top of some sliced red pepper and pitted olives. It slid down my gullet and into my stomach one spring evening after a pleasant day in Eastham. Hi ho, the wind and the rain.